Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
