There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
