im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
not ubering you a puppy
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
