I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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