trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
