I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Your penis caused this!
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