The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
