I cannot find my penis.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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