No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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