i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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