What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Randomize
