i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I am one with the molecules
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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