***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
