mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
