have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
