she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize