Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
