some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
