yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
