I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
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