the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
