Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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