I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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