OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
