I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
