I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
