I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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