Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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