Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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