is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
