We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
My vagina is very pro this idea
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
