normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize