last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
