Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
