I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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