my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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