If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
