i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
