It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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