he shaved USA in his pubs
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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