I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Randomize
