Where did you get a picture of my penis
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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