a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
