I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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