erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
