I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
