If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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