she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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