So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
