Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(970): View more from Colorado

Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.

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(360): View more from Washington

so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy

(360): View more from Washington

man i love america

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(770): View more from Georgia

My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.

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(702): View more from Nevada

I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends

(310): View more from California

Pharmasutra?

(702): View more from Nevada

Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms

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