I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
