your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I love having hate sex.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize