i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
