I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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