I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
