I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Four minutes until I can fart!
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
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