Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
