you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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