I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
