the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
