The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
