how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
They are going to name an STD after you.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
